its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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