He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
