So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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