do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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