I am puke
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
You took a bar mat shot.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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