Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
