Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
