you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
this is an emotional support booty call
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
