it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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