I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I feel like abortions should bother me more
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Randomize
