The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
