You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Randomize
