Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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