is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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