Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
