just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
