I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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