i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I need help removing her.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
