it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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