Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Someone came in the potted fern
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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