ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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