Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
