1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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