no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
