her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
