I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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