Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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