Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
