Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Randomize
