My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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