Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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