i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
