dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
