so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
