I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
