As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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