it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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