Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
