Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
