I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
