Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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