you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
