no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
