there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize