First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
This baby is an asshole
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
