i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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