he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
