It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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