I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
