i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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